WELCOME TO HOOKAH HAREM!

PRICE GUIDE:

HOOKAHS are limited to 3 People..............$28.95

  -Kaloud Lotus, mixing flavors, cloud additives...........Included

  OUR session time target is 1hr 30min, not 45min like most lounges nationwide.

 

ICE TIPS................................................$5.00

  Changed frequently during your session, of course

 

REFILLS (A refill is a new bowl, even if it is a new flavor)..........$18.50

  Ice Tip on refills:

 If you had an Ice Tip for previous bowl............................Included

 Change hose to Ice Tip....................................................$5.00

 

BUZZ ENHANCEMENT

(Dokah For PRO smokers ONLY) ..................................$4.50/PER level

PLEASE listen to your server recommendations, this is NOT for beginner or casual hookah smokers.

 

ALCOHOL DRINKER CHARGE....................................$5 per drinker

 

NOTES / RULES

DO NOT MOVE THE HOOKAH, ask a server to help you out.

 

BE AWARE:   We DO NOT just turn out pre-made bowls, we make each one to the customer specific order.  It takes at LEAST 5 minutes to make a single bowl.  If there are 3 or 4 orders ahead of yours, it can be a bit of a wait.  Good, not fast!!!

 

We DO NOT use quick-light coals, EVER.  They use Kerosene...

 

You don not have to be nice. However, if you are rude or disrespectful to staff or other customers, you will be told to leave.

 

We are NOT Weed Friendly, no THC pens.

 

San Antonio Health Code 36 states we can not prep food where tobacco smoke is allowed, this includes ice for drinks.  We would LOVE to make ice or brew teas, etc.  But it is against S.A. City code. You CAN bring your own ice and a chest cooler however.


 

STRENGTH GUIDE

 

We describe our strengths by Levels based on CONTENT and DELIVERY while smoking: For tobacco-based products there are 5 levels out of the can

 

Our server will try to gauge the proper level for your session

 

Level 0  No nicotine, no tobacco at all (Sugar Cane or Apples)

 

Levels 1 or 2 are your typical Al Fakher or Starbuzz brands

     Nicotine is %0.05 to %0.15 on average

 

Levels 3 and 4 are brands like Nirvana Super or Azure Dark

     Nicotine is %0.5 to %0.9 on average

 

Level 5 is Tangiers

     Nicotine is around %1.5 (Not Exact)

 

.05 to 1.5 might not SEEM like a big deal, but trust us: IT IS A BIG DEAL.

 

If you pick a level not suited for your normal nicotine intake you will most likely NOT enjoy your hookah at all.

 

We CAN take it above 5 with Dokah shots.  These shots are concentrated nicotine in a tobacco base.  They are NOT for casual hookah smokers.  See above for the price of Dokah.

 

SOME of our flavors:

 

Absinthe...............Acai Cream...........Aegean Spice

Apple Cider............Banana...............Blue Raspberry

Blueberry..............Blueberry Muffin.....Bubble Gum

Cherry..................Cherry Plum.........Chocolate

Cinnamon................Cinnamon Cookies....Citrus Twist (Lemon & Lime)

Cocoa..................Coconut..............Code 69 (Dr. Pepper)

Coffee (many types)....Cola.................Concord Grape

Delhi Tea..............Double Apple (Licorice / Anise)

Earl Grey..............Grape (Green)........Grapefruit

Green Apple Candy......Guava................Gum Mint

Honey..................Honeydew Melon.......Japanese Yuzu

Kiwi...................Lemon................Lemon Drop

Lemon Muffin...........Lime.................Mandarin Orange

Mango..................Menthol

Mint Peppermint/Spearmint

Orange.................Orange Cream.........Orange Soda

Pan Rasna..............Peach................Peach Spice

Peppermint Shake.......Pineapple

Pink Lemonade Sharp or Sweet

Raspberry..............Red Gummi Bear.......Root Bear

Rose...................Russian Tea..........Southern Peach

Spiced Chai............Spumoni..............Strawberry

Strawberry Margarita...Teas (various).......Tiramisu

Tropical Punch.........Turkish Coffee.......Vanilla

Watermelon.............Welch Cream..........White Peach

Yunnan Shaddok (Asian Citrus)

 

Some of the GENERAL catagories or MOODs you can choose from

Berries   Citrus   Coffee   Creamy

Earthy     Floral   Fruity     Minty

Spicy       Sweet   Teas

And many EXOTICS

 

Bottom line:  We have a TON of flavor options.  We can do pretty much any kind of mix except sour.  Sour doesn’t translate well in the hookah world.

 

FAQs

1.  When did Hookah Harem open?     Dec 2014

2.  Do you charge for the video games?  No, they are free to play.  Yes, some of the games go missing from time to time.  Yes, we have had shoplifters arrested...Cameras...

3.  WiFi?  (on the front page), but 110chill is the password

4.  Why no Tea?  Ice?  Food?   Because San Antonio Health Code 36 prevents food prep/making where tobacco is smoked, they count ice as food prep.

     -What about (INSERT NAME HERE)?  Not our business, but they are probably in Leon Valley or Alamo Heights...

5.  Why do you cost more than (INSERT NAME HERE)?

      - We only buy from legit wholesalers.  The Tax ALONE is $43 per kilo.  Yup, some of the shisha is LESS than that per kg.  Base price plus the $43 makes most brands well over $100/kg.

      -  We pay payroll taxes.  Even though servers work for tips they pay Social Security and Federal Income Tax.  No under the table pay here.

     -  Also, Staff spend quite a bit of time at the end of each night cleaning the hoses, bowls, hookahs, restrooms, etc.  We clean with Oxiclean and STEAM.  That cleaning time is not covered by tips, so the base price of a hookah, etc. must make up for it along with toilet paper, electricty, insurance, the lease, broken stuff, etc.

6.  Can I REALLY bring food and drink?  YES!

7.  How much is the loyalty program?  Free.

     -  Smoke here 8 times and #9 is on the house, within 180 days. But NOTE: It is YOUR responsibility to inform the person checking you out at the register that you are a member.

Another NOTE: if you pay with the same card (we do not keep cards on the POS, just Name + a value of the last 4, like (Jane Doe 22); if the card ended in 9094 +9+0+9+4=22).  SO, if you pay in cash, or get a new card, you need to be sure to let the server know to look you up BEFORE YOU PAY.

 

RETAIL ITEMS

 

We sell hoses, bowls, and many types of shisha.

 

We can order things as well and do not charge shipping fees.

MOST times, if MSRP is $100 and wholesale is $50, we sell for $75 on orders.

 

Smoke hookah often?

Want a deeper draw?

Wanna be one of the cool kids?

We sell a few styles of reusable mouth tips!